i am back in istanbul- typing with one hand while i cuddle with the sweetest cat, duman. she purrs and kisses my nose. and instead of going out, into this city that i love so much, i am thinking about cats and god.
i was reading through old emails and i found this email which my father sent to me while i was in india. it really had such a profound effect on me. i want to share the passage he sent me:
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Chapter 12 of AE's Song and its Fountains:
The high noon of time is past. We are nearing to its
twilight, but are like children who run about and play and
do not hear the voices calling them homewards, though
indeed they are weary and their play has not in it the young
delight of their dawn. How may we start on this travel? The
scriptures, which are the high Oracles of the Oversoul,
have told us the way. But they speak a language so high
that few can understand its symbolism, for it is to most of
us like a speech maintained in the court of a great king --
an ancient aristocratic speech -- while the rabble without
think, chatter, and barter with each other in a vulgar
tongue from which courtesy, dignity, and beauty are
absent. I cannot speak that high language of the seers who
wrote the scriptures of the world. I am as a child puzzled
and enchanted by the wood into which he has strayed,
who has the feeling that there is One who is playing hide-
and-seek with it in the tangle, and the child peers through
the leaves for a presence which always eludes it. I have
never had the high visitor of those who have gone into the
deeps of being and who have returned rapture-blinded by
the glory, and cried out in a divine intoxication to the Light
of Lights:
Spread thy rays and gather them. The Light which is
thy fairest form -- I am what he is.
I am a far exile from that great glory, and can but peer
through a dusky transparency to a greater light than the
light of day. That greater light shines behind and through
the psyche. It is the light of spirit which transcends the
psyche and the psyche in its own world transcends the
terrestrial ego. The psyche has a dual nature, for in part
it is earth-bound, and in part it clings to the ancient spirit.
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searching god in my travels... but still god eludes me.
soon i will return to canada, albeit, not to my home. i'm not sure that i have a home right now. for now i will continue to travel.
and now duman has become playful as she bites my hand and bats, claws retracted, at my arms. i have met so many wonderful cats on my voyage. cats everywhere are unique and yet the same. what a stupid thing to say- i mean, so are people: unique and yet the same!
i have been transitioning into the western style. turkey is the perfect place for this- it is where east meets west. a more perfect bridge could not be found.
oddly, i find that i have stomach problems in turkey. i recall i had some problems with my stomach last time i was here and i do again. in sri lanka i could drink the local water without issue and in india i only fell ill once, but it seems- even though i only drink bottled water here- i am always suffering from diarrhea. maybe it's just all the coffee...
but what does that have to do with god, you ask?
god is everywhere.
in the sky, in the sea, and in my bowels...
please don't take offense. don't be so serious. god has a sense of humour too. don't let the joys of silliness escape you too.
when i was in sri lanka i went to this turtle hatchery. in the evening we released baby turtles into the sea. the man who works there, handun, sent me an email yesterday. it was a handwritten letter which he had scanned and sent to me. he explained the meaning of my name to me in sinhala (edited slightly to make a little more sense): There are small currents in the sea. Sometimes they are floating on the surface of the sea waters. They go very slowly as a beautıful girl walks. Due to the nice rhythm, we call them in sinhala 'mariya.' That is the meaning of your name.
i thought that was nice. i always thought that mariya was a big wave, but it seems i misunderstood the concept.
well, i shouldn't spend more of my day on the computer when there is a beautiful city to explore. perhaps i can live up to my name and be a rhythmic current on the surface of istanbul...
today is a day for contemplation, a long walk is in order.
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